THE ROSES

ONE AND A HALF STARS A warring couple fail at therapy, at marriage and are struggling to stay alive.

COMEDY USA English #THEROSES Starring Olivia Colman, Benedict Cumberbatch

The movie treads a dangerous line. There are times when its ferocity threatens to break through the boundaries of comedy to become so unremitting we find we cannot laugh”. That was the late Roger Ebert talking about Danny DeVito’s THE WAR OF THE ROSES (1989). What would he make of Jay Roach’s remake as it charges straight past comedy into pure nastiness, leaving the laughs behind entirely.

It opens strong, at least. A couples therapy session sees a frosty British wife list what she still likes about her husband: “He has arms…” It’s a razor-sharp gag, punctuated by their American therapist throwing in the towel once a C-bomb is dropped (one of many), earning them a rare shared chuckle. It’s a neat moment: a British–American cultural clash played for bite, not belly laughs, and hints that this might be a clever, bitter romp about a marriage on the rocks.

Afraid not.

Instead, we flash back to London, where Theo (Benedict Cumberbatch) and Ivy (Olivia Colman, clearly having fun) meet in a restaurant kitchen and promptly christen the fridge. Fast-forward a decade: the couple now live in San Francisco. Ivy’s Michelin-star-level skills are wasted on her kids’ lunchboxes while Theo is finishing off the design on an ‘iconic’ museum. Pending success, he buys her a rundown fish shack so she can revive her career.

Then disaster strikes: his museum is trashed in a freak storm, while her seafood joint (We’ve Got Crabs - funny) goes viral. Suddenly, Theo’s the resentful househusband while Ivy jets off with celebrity chefs. Passive-aggressive jabs escalate into an Olympic-level resentment spiral.

The screenplay, by Tony McNamara (The Great, Poor Things), drips with venom and witty one-liners, but feels more like a diary entry from someone going through a particularly savage divorce than a cohesive story. There’s venom, yes. Insight? Not so much.

And that’s the film’s biggest letdown. With Colman, Cumberbatch, and McNamara’s barbed pen, you’d expect sharp, uncomfortable laughs or something daringly profound about power dynamics, ego, and gender politics. Instead, we get a joyless slog about two people being vile to each other. Their hatred feels real; their escalation into cartoon violence doesn’t.

Supporting players like Andy Samberg and Kate McKinnon (who seems to be improvising an entirely separate movie) are meant to inject levity or provide contrast. Instead, they muddy the waters.

What begins as a smart, acidic comedy about culture clashes devolves into an overwrought, spite-filled endurance test. It's not all bad, there are the occasional gems found in the mud. But even audiences who enjoy a little cruelty in their comedies will find The Roses ls more punishment than entertainment.

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